Give me hope
by shadowgirl94
Summary: Losing hope is something she never had, but he had, and lost it...both bitter and misunderstood face each other as well as the world they live in...two souls, one heart...
1. Chapter 1

First the fight

You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it.

* * *

How come nobody ever told little girls that their fantasies will never come true? That there is no prince charming, no white horse, and no great love? Maybe they tried to surpass the misery that is life, to bring hope, even false, so children can live happy, not knowing how life works.

Well I knew, I knew it all too well. My parents never even tried to hide the bitter truth, too consumed in their own minds to actually pay any attention on me. Yes, my family has fallen apart before I could begin to live. I heard all the fights, the screams, tears, hate… So I tell you now that there is no such thing as happy ending…just a bitter end full of what if's and regrets.

Maybe I am just 16 but I can say I have seen a lot. And I can help but feel bitter and disgusted at people who believed in love and happiness. That is probably because I have never felt it. Never.

The ironic thing is, I have never experienced love, but here I am the most popular girl at school. I have more friends than you can think of, and more admires that even I can count. Yet, why is that I feel so alone? Like I have no rock to lean on, a place to truly call home.

So this is where disaster story of my life begins.

* * *

Every morning I wake up, do my routine consisting of showering, brushing my hair and teeth, eating at the empty table, getting dressed, saying goodbye to the what it seems like a ghosts of the past. Nothing more, and nothing less, but it is my life so I have to live with my pain.

I get in my car, a present from a man I have to call father, and drive myself to a private school. Just the same thing every day, but to me it means more solitude, more fakeness, you know something I became very good at.

And when I park in my usual space, the madness is already there. In the next second my fake friends come running to me, saying how good I look, and what not. All I do is fake a smile, chat a little just to make them happy, because I know it is all a façade. They think that I never catch them gossiping about me, telling such horrid things that if I actually cared it would hurt. At those times I feel so disgusted with myself, at how shallow I can be.

Sometimes I can see exactly what they are talking about. They say I'm a porcelain doll. And I can see it, oh so clearly. When I look at my face at the mirror, I see a pretty, dear I say beautiful face but with a blank stare, no emotions present. I can see plump lips, button nose, high cheeks, long shiny pink hair, stunning green eyes…but I can't see the shine in them like I used to, I can't seem to catch the spark in my now dull green eyes, which were once beautiful emerald. Now even when I smile, it pains me to see how exactly it fake really is. It amazes me how I am the only one that can see it. Perhaps it's because no one bothered to look, or I didn't let them.

But it would be a lie if I said I didn't have a friend, I had just one and a true one at that. Hinata, a shy girl, very pretty, but with a golden heart. Evan if I praised her to the Havens and back, it would not still be enough. She is less popular then me, but I never cared. She like me has a rough past, a shattered family. I guess in a way we clicked. I know I can always count on her, and she on me.

And my dear friend had a secret, a little one in the world, but a big one here. She had a boyfriend, and an outcast, as they say. His name is Naruto; I have met him, and his good guy. He has blonde hair, like he was kissed by the sun, vibrant blue eyes which shone with such life, you can't help but look. He maybe wears black clothes, but always with something orange, but his personality is one of the brightest. He was loud and bubbly, so I can guess he and Hinata fit well. I can say that I honestly like the guy.

There is one little problem to all of that. Naruto has a best friend named Sasuke. He is also an outcast, wore all black, but he was blessed or cursed, like me, with good looks. So as many can see he had many fan girls, and each day I cannot help but wonder how some people can be so…fake. But Sasuke, unlike me, always gave them hateful looks, mean words, and harsh glares.

But Sasuke was always himself; he had his personality, his own life. He made his life and he lived by his rules, and for that I envied him. I wish I could be more like him every day, saying what I really think and feel, anything just not to be this broken person. I can honestly say that I have lost myself fully. Each day I slip little more in the black hole that is called my life, each day losing my own heart and soul. I'm starting to think that is no way a human should live. I am an empty shell, molded with other people's needs.

The irony to all that is because even if me and Sasuke are living such different lives I can see that we are the same. Empty and lonely…with no one to depend on.

I often find myself looking at him in class, trying to comprehend just who he really was. Yes he was cold, and rough, but I can also see the pain, the same one, and because of that I know there has to be something deeper, something that made him like this.

His body was fit, I can't say how much exactly but from my guess, pretty much. Also his is always so tense, like ready to strike at all times. His hair is also a mystery to me, it defies gravity, it's messy but it still looks good on him, and it is black with a tint of dark blue. His face is well chiseled, features sharp, but not too much. Jaw was firm, mostly from his anger, aristocratic nose, but the most interesting thing are his eyes.

Even when his face portraits nothingness, his eyes did the same thing, like a door sealed shut. But if you looked closely, you could see, almost feel the pain he carries each day. It could be seen on rare occasions along with hints of sorrow, loneliness, desperation, almost begging for someone to save him. It made me understand him a little, because I have seen those eyes so many times, but mostly on myself.

But he made me furious. He always acted so confident, so sure, it made me think twice if he really was a broken boy beneath it all. I often have to remind myself of that. But he was like the itch in my eye. Mostly because he judged me, hated me, thinking I was a girl with everything. It made me pissed off how easily he judged and how wrong he was. But the weird thing is I was still intrigued by him. His presence pulled me to him, like a magnet, and I hated it, and because of that I hated him. Yes I know it stupid, but I hated him, because he hated me.

So here I was trying to find my friend, and just my luck, there she was talking to Naruto.

I was just to run up to them when I collided with something rock-like. The impact made me fall down, and earned the attention of the whole school. Nobody dared to speak…to afraid of what was just about to happen. Volcano met a Tornado.

"Hn, watch where you're going princess…" His voice was so cold, with a hint of mockery and sarcasm. Just the nerve of the jerk!

"Yeah, I could say the same about you jerk face!" I unlike him, when angry, was not nice, ever. I am more like a storm that you should avoid at all cost. I was famous for my temper…

"Jerk face? You can't do better than that? Probably all the fakeness got to your tiny brain…"

Oh no he did not JUST say that… I can faintly hear people gasp, Hinata looking scared out of her mind trying to calm me down, but I did not care, he hit the nerve!

"I can do better than that, but I don't bother with such people like yourself…and before you even go there I mean the people like you who think so much of themselves, looking upon us mere mortals, why excuse me prince of arrogance, I had enough of you can I leave?"

"HN, better to be arrogant that a fake person in the plastic world filled with nothing…you're just an annoyance…"

I could see the way his scowl became deeper, eyes narrow, tone more angry and bitter. I have hit the nerve and here he is fighting back.

"DON'T you dare judge me! You don't know anything about me, nor my life, and if I'm living in the world of nothingness then tell me where are you? Because I can bet you're not far from me!"

I was on the brink of tears, that I didn't bother waiting for his replay; I just wanted to get out of there, and fast. So I did the only thing my mind though of, and that is run away….away from this hurting reality…

* * *

Ok I am officially starting this story, and I can say it has some similarity with my own life so I take this very seriously, it won't be very long maybe 3 chapters, but I hope you like the beginning…oh yeah review.

Love Shadowgirl :D 3


	2. Chapter 2

Forgive and try to forget

* * *

Forgiveness means letting go of the past.

- **Gerald Jampolsky**

* * *

It has been a month since the little incident, and the whole school buzzed about it for a week. Nobody gave me peace, all of them wanted to know what I thought, so they can gossip more. It was really sad to watch.

But it also had a huge impact on me. Mostly I cried in my room, and I didn't even know why I was so upset. I mean I heard worse things, and yet here I was shaken up by Sasuke. I don't really understand what I did to him, to make him hate me so much.

My pain was not one-sided, as I heard. Naruto told me Sasuke was as miserable as me. He said that people molested Sasuke more than usual. It made him more grumpy than normal, if it was even possible for Prince of Glares.

It made me feel a little better, but I was still mad because what he said. So when we saw each other, let's just say it was far from friendly. Believe me it's not pretty sitting in your seat, feeling a pressure on your back, like somebody tried to make a hole on you.

And if I didn't have enough on my plate, I had to have Karin on my back now too.

The red-hair slut of the school just had to be Sasuke's number one fan. So here I was being tormented by a red monster with terrible hair and fashion.

"Yo pinkazoid! How dare you talk like that to my Sasuke? He is so much better than you, so if I see you ever near Sasuke again I'm going to ruin you! Got it pinky?"

I still can't believe that this THING is treating me, and it is the lamest thing ever heard. I can help but pity her. She is talking something about me, but when you look at her, you can see a girl who was trying too much. I mean come on, her uniform is too short and reviling, her makeup is too bright and she had it more than a clown, but her attitude was the worst. Sometimes I wonder how anybody can bed her.

"Listen here Karin, and listen good…I don't care about your little attempts to scare or whatever, I'm going to do what I want, and for the record I don't care for your precious Sasuke, so you can have him, on a silver plate if you ask me…"

With that said I just turned around and walked away not even interested to hear what she was going to say. Probably something stupid and did I mention annoying. I don't know how Sasuke can even stand her, let alone kiss her.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the beast and Emo prince are in some sort of relationship. I seriously don't know how he can look at her let alone can sleep with her. Brrr nasty, I mean isn't he afraid to get some disease, the woman slept with so many people. Like I said nasty, plain horrible makes me want to hurl.

* * *

While I walked around the school, lost deep in thought, yes I know a shocker; I didn't notice that the class has already began. So like the idiot that I am I just had to run all the way to the other side of the school to get to class. But what made me halt on the spot were two voices sounding very angry, no more like pissed off.

And as is mentioned before I just had to go look. More like snoop, and I can't really say I expected THAT.

There was Sasuke arguing with angry looking Gaara. Well Gaara was also an outcast, but he was a drug dealer, everybody knew that. So the question is why he is talking to Sasuke of all people, the great athlete. Yeah Sasuke is the captain of the football team.

"Damn Uchiha I want my money now! I don't care for your reputation; you buy it you pay it, simple as that!"

You can say that I was shocked but that would be a far understatement. Who would have ever thought of somebody like Sasuke smoking pot? It just didn't make sense, sure he was an outcast, with the clothes and attitude and all but he chose to be one. If he acted a little differently he would be just like me, so I don't seem to follow, now his a druggie? I guess there should be no surprise; I mean Naruto does it to, sadly…

"Here is your damn money, just shut up already, and if you just think about telling this to anybody I'll make you wish you were never born…"

The way his eyes blazed, his jaw tight, and his voice menacing, I really believed every word he said. His was also famous because of his awful temper. Heh same here.

But when Gaara left, I made the biggest mistake, which I was sure I'll regret deeply. I turned to leave, as quickly as possible, no way I was about to let him get tough with his treat. But me being the klutz that I am, I just had to trip, and stumble just in Sasuke's line of vision. Oh boy his face I swear spelled doom.

Seeing his body go tense I took into a full sprint, too bad he was much faster than me, so in mere second I was slammed into the wall, not to gently might I add, and forced to look in his deadly captivating eyes.

"My, what do we have here hm? A little miss Sakura, snooping around the school instead of being in class? What do I owe the pleasure?"

He may have had the smirk on his face that could make any female fall in love, but I was more terrified of the sharp and icy voice he is using. The sadistic look didn't help me ether.

"Sasuke please let me go…I swear I didn't mean to…."

In my mind I had this great speech, but it was all caught in my troth, making me sound so pleading and desperate, you know like I really feel. I'm such a weakling…

"Sorry babe I can't do that, if I let you go out of my site you will tell everybody my little secret and we can't let that happen now can we?"

At that moment I knew my life was going to change drastically, I just hope I was going to get out of it alive. And by the way his eyes got that mischievous glint I now hated I knew I was in for a long painful ride.

"Sasuke please…"

I guess it was my last chance to plead him to change his mind.

"So I have an idea… here is what we are going to do…you are going to be hanging around me like my puppet…no, hm, let's say you will be my slave, you are going to do whatever I want you to do…sounds like such fun…but to the entire school you will be known as my cute, fake girlfriend and you WILL obey me, or else…"

The way he stressed out the word will, made me cry really bad, but I realized just now that I was crying for some time. He just had to ruin my life.

"Sasuke…don't do this…"

"Oh shh, babe don't cry everything is going to be ok, as long as you keep my secret and do ass I say…on the plus side you will see more of Naruto and your little friend"

I don't know what he was trying to do, but it was so NOT working. He took my freedom and he thinks his little sentence is going to make me feel ANY better?

"Why are you doing this, you know I won't tell anybody, why have to take my freedom away? Why torture me so much? Why do you hate me so much?"

"It's more fun seeing you this broken, messing with your plastic friends and reputation, and I don't hate you, I despise you little unreal world…che such a joke"

I may have been crying a few moments ago, but now I was feeling more and more anger running my veins that I couldn't see myself shaking like volcano ready to explode.

"I AM broken you jerk, I WAS broken far earlier then now, so don't flatter yourself! You don't know a shit about me, so don't you dare call me plastic and fake, because I am so far from it! My world is not unreal; it's more like my OWN PERSONAL hell! So don't say things you know nothing about!"

In the process of yelling at him, I have started hitting like no tomorrow unleashing all my frustrations on him. All the feeling I have bottled up for so many years, all the pain, loss, sorrow, everything. And by the look on his face he was far from shocked. But when I finished my little outburst he had a face somewhat understanding, but the now present anger was overshadowing it by the second.

Now I was the one confused…

"You think I don't know anything about personal hells? You think you are the only one with problems, the only one who's trying to deal or run away from them? You think it's all about you huh Sakura? Well it's NOT! You don't know a fucking thing about me, so don't dare act all high and mighty, cause you don't know a fucking shit about a bad days, months, lifetime…"

I have never seen him so angry before, but also I have never seen him so venerable and open, like a child. Right now even when he was pressing me against the wall, I felt more stable than him, he just looked plainly lost, almost begging to be saved. And I could not help but feel sorry for him, and me. He was so fragile right now, anybody but me would have used it against him already, but I could not help but relate to that pain.

So I did the only thing my fuck up mind told me to do, I hugged him. At first he tensed up, probably surprised, like me, and a minute later he actually hugged back. I could feel his fingers digging in my flesh, almost as he was making sure I was real and like he never wanted to let me go.

For the longest time we just stood there holding onto each other too afraid of reality to let go. I knew we had to face it sometime, so I pulled away slowly. Or more like tried because as soon as I did, his hold on me tightened in iron like grip. It was funny actually, just a few minutes ago we expressed our hate for each other, but really it was our way of hating our world and ourselves.

"Sasuke, we have to go, class is just about to end, and you don't want them to find us like this, now don't you?"

My voice surprised me, it was so gentle and understanding, so not like myself.

"Hn, I don't care…I don't give a fuck what they think"

I guess Sasuke had other plans. But I could not help but laugh. It sounded so sincere and care free that I almost felt like a living being, not a shell I really am. And my laugh it made him pout like an angry child.

"What are you laughing at?"

And I just had to laugh at his angry pouty face. It was so cute that I couldn't stop myself.

"Why you wouldn't mind people seeing all high and mighty Uchiha Sasuke pouting like a little boy? I personally don't mind but your fan girls might smolder you even more…"

When I said the part about his fan girls he look truly terrified, but then he thought about something and smirked like a smug cat.

"Well then I guess I am lucky to have you as my girlfriend to protect me form all the girls…."

Before I even had time to report on his remark on the girlfriend thing, he swooped his head down, and clamed my lips with his, affectingly making my repot despair from my mind, more like make my mind go blank.

I was so shocked, I didn't know because he kissed me, or because his lips were so soft and his kiss was so gentle, like he cared truly about me.

But I caught on quickly and eagerly returned his kiss.

As the time moved the kiss grew more passionate and wild, our tongues battling for dominance, his hand on my butt pushing me up on the wall even more, my legs went on his waist automatically, while my arms were around his neck pulling his hair.

And just as we were turning into live fire the bell rang, signaling the end of our missed classes.

But before I can blink I was on my feet again, looking all messy and wild, looking confused out of my foggy mind. And the reason is because the jerk Sasuke has put me down, stopping all the activity HE started, and now was walking all too proudly to god know where, smirking is such triumph that made me hate him all over again.

"See you later babe…."

* * *

At that moment I knew I was screwed.

Because he is making me fall for him

We are two people living in such different universe

He has a bitch as a girlfriend

Yeah I'm dead…

* * *

OK done with another one, very happy with how I wrote it, a little disappointed that so little people read the previous chapter, but I hope this makes it better.

I hope I didn't over write it….hope you like it…review…

Love Shadowgirl :3


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